Vicki Anderson

If you want involvement at work, at home, at school, at church, etc. it begins with you, especially if you are in charge. Pay attention to the little things. It’s the little things that add up to something major.

For instance, if you want people to keep their work areas clean, what does your work area look like? If you have piles and piles on your desk and on the floor with food wrappers from lunch still sitting by your computer, it’s not much of an example. What about when you walk down the aisles? Do you ever stop to pick up something on the floor? Are you on the lookout for things out of place so you can right it? Or, are you on the lookout so you can tell someone else to do it? It’s the difference between being the cop or being part of the team. I have a small manufacturing client that has rotating tasks for everyone in the office to make sure the grounds just outside the front door are picked up, emptying trash, and a myriad of other things. Everyone including the owner is assigned something for a period of time so they know how much easier it would be if things were kept clean at the source. The pride in the way their business looks to visitors and themselves is very evident.

If you want to be approachable and someone who people can bring ideas to, then spend some time with people doing the little things. Make sure you are not too good to have lunch in the employee lunch room or stop to pick up a piece of trash that has missed the wastebasket. Take time to ask about that little league game or dance recital or hunting trip that your employee is involved in. You’d be amazed at the results you’ll get when you ask for helpers and they see you show up as well.

I am appalled to hear about the latest victim of workplace bullying in Virginia where a man committed suicide because of a bullying boss. What is so crazy to me is that his coworkers knew about it and were saddened by it, but it took too long for the administration to do anything about it. The man made 17 calls to administration in the week leading up to the suicide. We do not know what action the administration planned to take, just that it is too late.

The problem with this situation is that it not only affects the person being bullied, but the coworkers as well. It is painful to watch it happening to someone else, wondering if it will happen to you. The tension can be enormous. You want the other person to speak up, but they are often so fearful of losing their job that they just try to measure up the best they can and take it. Unfortunately, this is usually about power, not performance, and unless someone else steps in or the person being bullied steps up, the bullying will not stop.

The tension created in these situations usually results in less performance overall because people are operating out of fear instead of working for continuous improvement and customer satisfaction. Organizations that take care of employees first know that the employee will in turn take care of the customer, which will take care of the business.

Be ever vigilant for people who use their position to wield their power. The successful leaders know that it is the people they help to succeed who will make them look good. In order to do that, you must coach, teach, and grow your staff. This is not possible if you are driving them with a whip. Scared people don’t grow and they don’t look out for anyone but themselves.

I am a big fan of the Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations books that help people talk in situations that are emotional, yet have high consequences. One of the lessons I have learned that I was reminded of lately is the way we often play the victim. We love to complain about the other person and what they are doing to us. For many reasons we feel we are justified in complaining because we feel we have no alternative to change the situation.

We are afraid to address performance problems of employees or difficult bosses who treat us unfairly. However, the content in the books provides great alternatives for addressing problems in ways that reduce defensiveness on both sides. As the problem escalates without being properly addressed, it is easy to put all the blame on the other person, but I want to stop you right there. Have you really thought about your part in the situation?

Did you go along with the behavior and fail to say it was unacceptable? We often let something slide once or twice thinking it was an anomaly and it will rectify itself. However, when it happens again and again, we now get more irritated and don’t know how to bring up the subject without getting emotional ourselves. I think the key is identifying that we had a part in the problem. If you observe inappropriate behavior or are the object of inappropriate behavior, it is important to say so. As a leader, this is very important if you want to have good performance from your employees. Don’t wait until the problem has happened three or four times before you say something. If you mention it the first time or two it becomes information, but by the third or fourth time, it becomes accusation, blaming, and defensiveness.

Think about it. If someone tells you about something you did wrong after you have done it that way for a period of time, wouldn’t you be embarrassed? Why didn’t they say something before?

If someone is mistreating you, own the fact that that you have been part of the problem by not speaking up previously. You could say that you didn’t know how to handle it before or that you would like to discuss what you would like to see in the future. The other person may or may not be as agreeable as you would like, but face it. You have had more time to think about it. Give them some time if it appears to be causing the other person difficulty. Set a time to get back to discuss it again. Just because the other person gets emotional does not mean it didn’t work. It’s just their immediate response. Refrain from throwing down the gauntlet and issuing ultimatums. Recognize your part and realize that in any relationship, it takes two.

Many people who are trying to make lifestyle changes get coaches. There are coaches for weight loss, smoking cessation, alcohol and drug addiction, and all kinds of skill training. It is a proven fact that if you have someone to support you with positive reinforcement or to help you stay motivated, you are more likely to make the changes long lasting.

This concept is also true for leadership skills. Many people have started using coaches to help them discuss their approaches to leading and help them learn through their immediate situations. However, I don’t think there is enough emphasis on support for changing behavior.

I was talking to a client the other day and suggested that she state in front of her staff that she is trying to be a better manager. She should say that she realizes that the way she has behaved in the past has been sometimes inappropriate and she plans to change that. She should ask for their help and support while she learns to be a better manager. People could gently let her know if she was falling off the wagon or they could give her kudos when she seems to be doing it right.

The benefit of doing this is not only support for the manager, but it makes the staff look at the manager differently and perhaps judge with different criteria. Many times people try to change, but others still view them with the same eyes, so they never get the benefit of others seeing the change. Trust is built on the behaviors we see, not the behaviors we say we will do. Therefore, if you want someone to believe you are trying to be better, you have to do things they will see. However, if they aren’t looking for it, they still might not see it.

What do you think? Does this make a person seem strong or weak to do this? To me, it is no different from the alcoholic who stands up and and says “I’m an alcoholic and I need your help.” It is owning the problem and showing that you are earnest about fixing it.

I have been consulting on performance evaluation systems for a long time and one of my pet peeves is the feeling by some managers that you can’t rate people at the top of the scale because there is always room for improvement. My answer to that is, “Then take that rating off the form because it is unachievable.”

I believe in coaching to the test. In other words, be very clear with employees about what you consider good solid performance and what they have to do above or below that to get better or worse ratings. For those people who are high achievers, they now have something to shoot for and if you see it consistently, why can’t you give them that rating?

There is no perfect in human behavior. There is always room for improvement. That doesn’t stop us from wanting a reward when we achieve a certain level. No matter how many Tour de France races Lance Armstrong has won, there is room for improvement. That’s why he keeps trying. They don’t withhold the trophy because of it.

The problem is that most managers haven’t really thought about what they think excellent performance looks like, so they feel uncomfortable rewarding it. If they do give high ratings they are afraid of being unfair to someone else so they want to give high ratings to everyone. And, of course, they are under pressure by their bosses to give few high ratings because then everyone will want a big raise.

I have a philosophical question for you. If it didn’t matter what raise you were going to get because there is not much budget, would you rather your manager give you the higher rating you had worked to earn or would you rather they soft peddle it and give you an average score so it is in line with the money? What does that do to your motivation? At least it would be on the record that you are a high performer when promotions or raises are available again.